Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Lyin', the Witch and the Wardrobe

My favorite Muckracker wrote this column. It is genius and I just wish there was more time to put it into some kind of book form.

Here is a snippet. Be sure to go to Mudflats to grab it and send it to everyone you know.

Nine more days!! What are you doing to help elect those who will give our country respect again.
Lyin', the Witch and the Wardrobe - An Alaskan Tale.

Sarah Palin has "fairy tale" written all over her. From her humble beginnings to her humble middlings, to her swift Cinderella rise to fame as Alaska's first female governor. And now to the surreal celestial realm of national celebrity, riding around in her pumpkin coach with her glass stilleto-heeled slippers trying to be the second-most important person in the land! I had almost convinced myself that this was *the* Palin metaphor, except for the one glaring problem. Cinderella was nice. Cinderella was humble, and sweet. She loved the little creatures. She sang like an angel. Cinderella was not a diva, or a pitbull, or a hockey mom. Not even close. And she didn't shoot the little creatures for fun.

The quest for the perfect Palin metaphor fell stagnant, until coffee the other day with a couple friends. We were talking about how Barack Obama truly represents the American dream, but Palin is nothing but a fairy tale. Quest for metaphor woke up again. "There has GOT to be a perfect metaphor for Sarah Palin," I kept thinking. What are her features…She's beautiful, she's seductive, she's not what she appears to be, she sucks people in, she has an agenda that people don't realize, she has no qualms about throwing people under the bus if it suits her, she's manipulative, she has a lust for power, she is the center of her world……lights flashing, buzzers buzzing, whirring machine noises……..DING! A small index card is ejected from the metaphor machine.

"Sarah Palin, Queen of Narnia". Remember the White Witch? Well…everyone /else /called her the White Witch, but she called herself the Queen. Now close your eyes, and imagine… After struggling through the world of Alaska political corruption, we suddenly find ourselves out in the fresh air, standing by a lamp post, in a strange new place. We see a sleigh silently moving across the snow. Everything is glittering, and we can see our breath. It's been snowing for a long, long time. The sleigh is pulled by six pure white caribou, (or polar bears…take your pick). There is the silver tinkling of little bells as the sleigh approaches, and we see sitting there, wrapped in the furs, and clad in something fabulous from Nieman Marcus, is the White Witch. Stunningly beautiful, icy cold, smiling.
Read the rest HERE!!

1 comment:

Riot Kitty said...

As one of our volunteers noted, "She is a poor example of womanhood."

That was a polite way to say it.